My Religion: CONFUSED

Throughout my life, I have been raised as a Catholic and have been going to church every Sunday to worship God. But I was NEVER really there. I would go just to please my mom and to do my obligations to God. I NEVER understood a word that the priests say. But there were three priests that have opened my eyes. The first was Father John from Panorama City, CA who was an immigrant from Kenya. The thing I loved about him was his straightforward preaching to convey the word of God. The second was Father Alexander from North Hills, CA. He was funny and unlike other priests, he knew how to involve the churchgoers in his sermon. The third is Father Kirsch from Granada Hills, CA. He is a combination of Father John and Father Alex. He is very funny, straightforward, his sermon truly comes from the heart and how he feels, and never lets the churchgoers forget the reason why we are gathered in his presence every Sunday.

This weekend I received the most shocking news I've heard in a long time. Father Alexander lost his battle with cancer and passed away. He was diagnosed almost two years ago and went to rehabilitation and did not preach for a year. Just last month, he came back and looked healthy and I was very happy to see him. Weeks went by that I did not go to the church in North Hills and went to Granada Hills. Last night, I heard from my friends the tragic news and I was overcome with emotions. Father Alex was one of the only priests I have ever considered to preach from the heart. He was a great man who preached the word of God and made people like me listen and understand. Now he is gone and Father John has gone back to Kenya and now Father Kirsch is the only one left.

This is why I am writing this blog. These past few months, I have come to a realization of my spiritual self. I simply just can not understand organized religion anymore. For the past two weeks, The Head preacher of the Granada Hills church spent the sermon asking for donations instead of preaching the Gospel. Although i have no problems with helping others, I am not in favor of taking time away from celebrating the word of God for personal necessities. I started thinking that church is just a man made object and although it does spread the word of God, it controls everyone in it. To do this or do that. But it is in the person to do what is right in the name and presence of God. Most of the priests read their sermons as if they analyzed the readings and shared their thoughts. But that is not how preaching is supposed to be done. Father Kirsch, Father John, and Father Alex always stood in front of the crowd, not the pedestal, and talked to us like human beings, not an audience at a press conference. These three made me believe that you don't need to follow others to do what is right. It is in you to know what is right in the name of God. I will continue going to church to hear the Gospel and follow the agenda, but I know deep inside that I know what is right and what isn't.

Rest In Peace, Father Alexander.